It’s happened countless times in movies: the hero slips a Bible, a notebook, a watch, or (in “Back the Future III”) a stove door into their shirt before squaring off with their opponent. After a moment of tension-building drama, the villain draws and fires, striking our hero who crumples to the ground. After yet another moment of suspense, the seemingly-dead hero springs back to life, holding the book, watch, or what-have-you in their hand with a bullet or arrow stuck halfway through.
It’s the sort of unlikely turn of events you can only find in movies—after all, what are the chances that someone would hit the few square inches of protection tucked secretly inside the protagonist’s shirt? Well, apparently not as bad as one might think, because that’s almost exactly what happened in Nimbin, New South Wales, Australia last week.
According to the New South Wales Police Force, the victim (who was not named) pulled into his driveway on Nimbin Road at around 9 a.m. last Wednesday and noticed a man standing at the edge of his property brandishing a bow and arrow. According to the police report, the two men knew each other, and as the property owner produced his cell phone camera to take a picture of his bow-wielding visitor, the intruder released the arrow with, what one can assume, was an intent to kill.
Fortunately, luck was on the victim’s side and the arrow somehow hit the phone he was using to try to capture a picture of his assailant. The force of the arrow’s impact pushed the phone back into the man’s face, allowing the arrowhead to cut his chin, leaving what police described as a “small laceration” and nothing more.

Police arrested a 39-year-old man at the scene, still carrying the bow, though officials have not released his name either. He was charged with intent to commit an indictable offense, assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and malicious damage.
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What do we think that was… A 30 pound draw? A field tip certainly could have killed, depending on placement. But it seems like our young Chingachgook-gone-walkabout could have arrived better prepared.
He may have been charged, not jailed but our judiciary system will most likely let him off on some bullshit excuse. Or if he somehow has a bad day and does end up in prison, most likely for only 1 month or some lame prison time.
I’m glad that the maniac was arrested and jailed. In Oregon, the charge would be Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Then there would be the charge of Vandalism for the damage to the phone.
There for for the grace of the Almighty . . .